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The reality of online dating

Rejoice Mawire, 19th Jul 2020
Tags: Life Blog Relationships Self-worth Social Media

Online dating is becoming so popular now. I know a number of couples that have met through apps like Instagram and Bumble, but I’ve also got friends who’ve been hurt by people on the same apps.

Guy on Tinder
Image Credit: Giphy

Going on Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, or similar apps, seems like a quick fix when you’re tired of being single, or just want someone to talk to. However, speaking from experience, you don’t always get the best outcome when using it.

If this is something you’re thinking of doing, or maybe have been doing already, here are some things to consider before you swipe. 

Have the right intentions

You never really know the intentions of the person you’re speaking to. You can’t control their motives, but you can control and figure out yours.

If you’re looking for a sense of satisfaction or fulfilment from speaking to someone, you don’t need another person to make you feel good or loved. You can get complete contentment and fulfilment from something outside of a relationship. And it’s so much better because it’s actually permanent.

Think about it, we all know someone whose mood changes depending on the state of their partner in the relationship. Maybe that’s been you at times?

Kardashians single
Image Credit: Giphy

This is a dangerous game. Our worth does not come from our relationships, and our fulfilment and wellbeing shouldn’t either.

I’ve personally received fulfilment and worth from God. He’s love and goodness towards me never changes, he gives me so much joy and I feel so whole from knowing him.

Having a relationship is not the source of my fulfilment, but it’s a cherry on top of the goodness I already get from God.

Safety is key

We can meet all sorts of people online, so we have to make sure we’re keeping safe when we do.

The first level of doing that is to stay within the outlined boundaries, i.e. the age restrictions of the app, not giving out your personal information, and not meeting up with random people.

Amber Rose saying no means no
Image Credit: Giphy

Also, if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, telling you to give them your details or pictures, speaking to you in an unjustified way, or you’re getting a bad feeling about them, back out of that conversation and get away from that person. Block them and report them on the app if it seems fit.

It’s not worth it, and it’s not worth “exploring”. Toxic people are out there and you don’t want to get involved with them.

Catfishing is not a joke

This is more common than we might think. The TV show on MTV could honestly go on forever.

Don’t take every person you meet online at face value. Do your research on them. A quick google search might do the trick, or maybe a deeper “FBI investigation” on their other socials to make sure they are legit.

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This also goes the other way around. Don’t catfish anyone.

Starting up a fake account is not a good move. An action that seems harmless could be hurting another person. Whether that be the person whose pictures you’re using or the person that you’re speaking to, it’s never a good idea.

Is it the right time?

This goes for getting into a relationship altogether. It takes a lot of work, energy, and commitment.

Before you even get into this, take some time to date yourself. Find out what you enjoy to do, what your passions are, what your strengths are, what you would like to improve on, and how you can help those around you.

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There’s so much for us to explore, figure out, and experience before we get latched onto another person.

If online dating is something you want to do, make sure you have everything above in place. It’ll save you from heartbreak.

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