Letting go of toxicity
Molly Fairclough,
29th Oct 2019
Tags:
Life
Blog
Identity
Mental health
Self-worth
Toxicity can exist in our lives in a range of different ways.
Sometimes it’s toxic people, and sometimes it’s toxic thoughts. Both are easy to ignore, but very damaging if you choose to do so.
Toxic thoughts are the hardest things to get rid of because you can’t escape them. You can’t just go somewhere to get away from them, because they live in your head.
Toxic thoughts can take up your whole day.
They can also crop up out of nowhere and just take over your whole day with tiny triggers you didn’t even know existed.
For example, some triggers could be when your mum comments that you’re really enjoying your food; cue toxic thoughts about hating your body. Or when your friend talks about their boyfriend; cue toxic thoughts about how you don’t have a boyfriend and will be forever alone.
It seems dramatic, but for many people, this kind of thinking grows to consume their whole lives.
So how do we stop this? How do we get these thoughts to go away?
There are some things people often do to help them get rid of these thoughts, like:
- Getting out in nature.
- Turning off their phones.
- Talking it through with their friends and family.
- Meditating.
- Doing yoga.
Whilst all of these things are great, and will definitely improve your mindset, these are only short-term fixes.
Take their power away.
The only way to get rid of these thoughts is to take their power away.
The only reason toxic thoughts about our appearance, achievements, personality, etc., affect us, is because we rely on those things to define us.
If we are defined by how we look, what we do, or what people think of us, then these things will determine our happiness.
Placing our value on things that are so fickle gives us a very uneasy foundation for our happiness. Which will be is easily rocked by small things, like toxic thoughts.
I find it helpful to remind myself how loved I am by God.
When I’m having these thoughts, I find it helpful to remind myself how loved I am by God. His love is unchanging.
Most, if not all, of the love that we experience in life, is conditional. People love us until we do something that means we no longer deserve their love. But when we accept God into our hearts and have a relationship with him, his love is truly unchanging.
There is nothing that you can do to either gain or lose his love, which takes all of the pressure off us.
All we have to do is surrender our lives to God, realising that we’re not perfect, but trusting that he is.
Find your value in God’s love.
So, get rid of toxic thoughts by finding your value in God’s love. Not on the things around us.
Focusing on 'whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.' (Philippians 4:8 in the Bible).
